Should you find out the sex of your baby?


It’s the first question you get asked following the announcement of your pregnancy. A nano-second after the “congratulations” part, people will ask whether you’re going to find out the sex of your baby. As the 20-week scan approaches, you might find yourself in two minds. There are plenty of arguments for finding out, but there are also a few persuasive reasons why you may want to leave it as a surprise.

I wasn’t the least bit tempted to find out the sex of my first baby

For me, this element of surprise was one of the most exciting parts of my pregnancy. I happily enjoyed the 41 weeks of not knowing. It added something extra to the already mind-blowing miracle of creating life.

For my second and third pregnancies I chose not to find out for the same reason. The loveliest moment of all my labours was being the one to announce the sex of my third-born after her delivery. After a few minutes of enjoying that skin-to-skin magic, my midwife asked, “Aren’t you going to look to see if it’s a boy or a girl?” And when I saw I had become a mum of three girls; it was a gorgeous moment.



To know or not to know, that is the question. Source: supplied.


Fast-forward four years and I have found myself once again torn with this decision. So, I did a little research. A quick poll of my friends and blog followers showed strongly in favour of finding out. Here’s what I found:

Reasons for finding out:

I considered all these reasons and I still couldn’t decide. So, at our 20-week scan, I asked the sonographer to write down the baby’s sex on a piece of paper, which we took home and placed inside an envelope – to be opened if we choose to.


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This is it! Source: Supplied.


I placed the envelope on the fridge and as a family we discussed whether to open it. My girls were split. Miss 4 was desperate to open it. But you’d expect that from a four-year-old. She can’t even wait for you to cut toast! Miss 7 wanted to wait. She’s a delayed gratification kind of girl. And Miss 6 voted in favour of opening it so we could eat pink or blue cake. I think the gender-reveal YouTube videos I showed her strongly influenced that decision!

For me, I was so overjoyed that everything was OK at 20-weeks, its gender was the furthest thing from my mind. After three consecutive miscarriages, this was the greatest relief imaginable.



After three miscarriages, knowing the sex was far from Michaela’s mind. Source: Supplied.


Reasons for not finding out:

I am now 30-weeks pregnant and the envelope remains unopened, and it’s not even sealed! I open the fridge about 76 times a day and I have not been tempted, not even once. Which is incredibly surprising considering I have little self-control. I’ll save my peeking for when I return home from hospital with newborn babe in arms. And then I’ll check to see if the sonographer got it right!


Michaela Fox is a freelance writer, blogger and mother of three. You can find her on her blog, Not Another Slippery Dip, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Did you find out the sex of your baby/babies in advance? What were your reasons for wanting to know, or wanting to wait? Let us know your thoughts,