It’s been a long and traumatic ordeal for Laura Dove to finally have the big family she has always dreamed of. The incredibly emotional journey has involved suffering 15 miscarriages .
Conceiving has always been easy for Laura – even while on the pill – but she repeatedly, and devastatingly, lost her babies between six and 12 weeks into the pregnancy.
At first she remained optimistic
She had three miscarriages before giving birth to her first son Lewis in 2004.
“When I first miscarried, I couldn’t tell anything felt different,” she remembers. “We had decorated the nursery and had told everyone about the baby. We didn’t even know that people normally waited until 12 weeks.
“I had never even held a baby until we had Lewis a few years later. With the first two miscarriages it was very early on. We had assumed everything would be fine.
“It was heartbreaking to lose the babies, but we were still quite optimistic at that point. We were so young, we just thought we’d try again. We didn’t have years of it dragging us down, back then.”
Laura has a very small bump when she’s pregnant. Pic: Caters
She began to fear all her babies were going to die
Years of agonising miscarriages began to take its toll on Laura, and the stress connected with carrying a baby started to become a huge burden. During each pregnancy, Laura would be convinced her babies were “going to die” and spent every minute worrying.
After losing several more babies, she carried a boy to 36 weeks in 2006, only to learn his heart had stopped beating. They named him Joseph.
“When I’m pregnant I don’t get a big bump, so with Joseph I had growth scans every two weeks. They said he was slightly small so I was monitored a lot.
“I was at a routine appointment when we found out he had died. We were both completely numb and went into autopilot. I naively thought they would do a caesarean, but I was told I would be induced. It was a massive shock.
“I didn’t think I would be put through all that. But they had to think about what was safest for me. Losing Joseph was agony and eventually led to the breakdown of my first marriage. We’d been through so much pain together.”
Memories of Joseph: The beautiful baby’s hand and footprint (left) and hospital records (right). Pics: Caters
“We’d been through so much pain together”
After losing Joseph, Laura didn’t want to try for any more kids at first.
“But in the end we decided that we would. We lost a few more babies and I felt like it was breaking us,” she says.
“It was so much pressure and we were both grieving. I was really depressed and had psychiatric treatment. After we lost the last one, we split up, and it felt like I had lost Joseph all over again as I had no-one who had been through it with me. We’d tried marriage counselling, but had been through too much.
“We sold our house and I trained as a teaching assistant and started working at Lewis’s school. Then I did a counselling diploma at college.”
Laura and her second husband Gareth. Pic: Caters
Her luck began to change …
After an impossibly hard run, Laura’s luck began to change.
“I met Gareth in 2010. He didn’t have kids, but we wanted to have them together. The doctor told me it might take six months to conceive after coming off the pill, but I was pregnant within a fortnight.
“We lost our first one at nine weeks, and several more in the first year of trying. I had genetic testing and scans but they said it was unexplained and we could keep trying. Family and friends told us to stop though, as it was so hard for them to see us go through it.
“A new consultant said I could have daily injections of a blood thinner next time. It wasn’t a surefire method but we had nothing to lose.
“I got pregnant with Eva and we got to six, then nine, then 12 weeks. We told Lewis he was going to have a baby sister, but I wouldn’t buy a single Babygro. I was convinced she would die and I couldn’t get excited.
Gareth and Laura on their wedding day. Pic: Caters
Another bub – or two – on the way
Despite the stress, after Eva was born the couple decided to try for another bub.
“Then six months later I got pregnant again, it was a complete shock. I had the same injections again and scans every fortnight,” she says.
“When Megan was born, Lewis said, ‘Oh God, not another girl!’ Me and Gareth were raising three kids and it was amazing.”
It was so amazing that they decided not to put themselves through it again.
But fate had other ideas.
“Gareth was going to get a vasectomy, but he chickened out and said I should go back on the pill. Then, three months later, I was pregnant again,” Laura says.
“I’d seen a psychic and even though I was really sceptical, she told me I was pregnant with a little boy and Joseph had sent him. I couldn’t take it in, but it played on my mind so I did a test a week later and it was positive.”
Laura with second husband Gareth and their gorgeous brood of kids. Pic: Caters
Everything this mum has ever wanted
Laura now considers herself “the luckiest mum in the world” – despite being tired of people believing she’s irresponsible for having three babies so close together.
“People always assume I have popped them out easily,” Laura says. “It’s as though we’ve been irresponsible and it’s unfair having them all so young. They even ask if I’m going to have a fifth child – but I tell them I have had five, but Joseph didn’t survive.”
“We have three kids so young. It’s really been crazy.”
Though life is now chaotic, Laura says she never takes a moment for granted and counts herself lucky for being a mum to four healthy children.
Laura with her four fabulous kids: Lewis, 12, Megan, 4, Harry, 2, and Eva, 3. Pic: Caters
“When I’m tired I just stop and think about how lucky I am”
Despite being constantly tired looking after Lewis and three little ones, Laura doesn’t complain abut her gorgeous clan.
“Gareth is out at work while I’m juggling the kids. My parents live locally, so they help out, but we just get on with it,” she says.
“Because of everything we went through, when I’m tired I just stop and think about how lucky I am. I have four perfect children. It makes it a lot easier for me to cope with it, and Gareth’s now had a vasectomy which is a worry off my mind.
She says her kids all get along well and Lewis is a great big brother.
“He waited ten years for a baby brother but he adores them all. Though he does sometimes say to me, ‘You’re not pregnant again, are you?’
“When we first had Harrison we were a family of six in an end-terrace house with three bedrooms. Now we have a big family car and a bigger house.”
Laura doesn’t mind not being able to travel abroad now she has so many munchkins.
“We used to go on holiday a lot, but now we stay in the UK. But I don’t think of that as a sacrifice. When the children are all running around together, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Pictures and text from Caters. Words by Katie Moore.